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12/30/2002
 

The Sounds of (Not) Silence.



Sex is rarely a completely quiet affair. There’s grunting, groaning, panting, moaning, gasping, yelping, talking, and on some occasions, screaming.

Screaming is fun, although sometimes it’s best to warn the roommates, neighbours, and local law enforcement, depending on how loud you or your partner may get.

Personally, I love a noisy partner. Whether it’s carrying on a conversation about what’s going on in or out of the bedroom, or even just moaning and gasping in response to what’s happening, it’s all pretty fantastic.

It also leads to some fabulous jokes and comments for later, particularly if you happen to have roommates or visiting relatives with whom you’re comfortable (or friends). I’ve been in a relationship whereby the household was quite relaxed and casual about sexual matters, so it wasn’t unusual to overhear another couple having some fun. The courteous thing was to simply wander to a higher floor so as not to overhear nearly as much; other times you just laughed about it and ignored it as best you could.

I find the best thing to do, when roommates or relatives are a factor, is be as quiet as possible out of respect for the other members of the household. Someone who seems quite comfortable and relaxed about their own sexuality still may not appreciate overhearing you enjoying yours, so why make it an issue?

That all said and done, the best sex is the sex where it doesn’t matter how quiet or loud you are, so long as your partner can hear you and enjoy the noises you are or aren’t making. I try to pay attention to all of it; the grunting, the groaning, the sped-up breathing, the whimpers … it’s all part of hearing someone else enjoy themselves, and it’s incredibly sexy.

My male friends share that same opinion; out of anyone with whom I’ve had the discussion, hearing their partner enjoy herself ranks right up there as generally the highest turn on for guys. I find this very encouraging – at least as long as the guys don’t think that this is an independent state for us. Just as you like attention to keep your interests on the subject at hand, so do us women. That’s not to say that it isn’t a turn on hearing you enjoy yourself – I say, the more vocal the better – but we like a bit of attention in order to make those sexy noises you love to hear so much as well.

Of course, sometimes the noises one makes in fits of passion aren’t always the most… flattering, shall we say. Face it, your mind is on other things in the heat of the moment, so you’re not exactly paying close attention to the little fits and starts of your breathing, or the choking or yelping or yodelling noises you might happen to be making on your way to the big finish. Times like these, when it’s one partner getting the other off, and being more of less in full use of their faculties, one garners a great deal of ammunition to use later.

This isn’t always a good thing, at least when the tables are being turned against you.

But when you wield the power, look out.

Hehehe.

It does however take a secure relationship for your boyfriend or girlfriend to realize that you’re merely teasing him or her when you start imitating those little noises they make, and not actually making fun, which is a bit different. It also takes you not being self-conscious or upset if they do the same. It can actually make for a lot of fun if you do it in group situations, but in such a manner that your boyfriend or girlfriend is the only one who knows what you’re really talking about.

But then again, I’ve been told I’m mean and cruel and evil. I think inside jokes can be funny, and it’s all part of teasing. Admittedly a different kind of teasing than you might do when it’s just you and your significant other, but still a fun kind.

Every good day includes at least one person making fun of your orgasm noises, or even your orgasm face, no? At the very least, you can take comfort in the knowledge that you were having a good time. And then... it's your turn to make fun.

posted by Jen on 12:22 AM

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Apparently a how-to guide for sex with me. In reality, me just talking about my thoughts and experiences in love, sex and relationships.

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