Those Magic Moments

Once upon a time, I started writing a column that attempted to deal with those quiet moments that a couple shares after sex.

That column got away from me, and turned into something that made fun of the wet spot and orgasm faces, among other goonie things that are a fact of sex – but never get mentioned in novels or movies.

Anyhow, what with today being Valentine’s Day and all, the day of romance, love, cuddles, depression and suicide, I thought that I’d try to touch on the subject once more and actually treat it properly this time, and from a different angle.

Most couples that have been together for any length of time, or who are comfortable with one another share a certain amount of connection and intimacy. This isn’t particular to couples, though; a connection of sorts can exist between friends and relatives, as well.

However, when one is part of a couple, there’s something more there. It’s difficult to explain if one hasn’t experienced it, because on the surface it sounds as if it’s the same as a pair of friends who simply happen to see one another naked and do things about it.

You can define the connection as the sharing of inside jokes, caring about seeing one another happy, listening to one another’s stresses, helping each other to relax and feel better after a bad day… and yet, when you look at it that way, those are the same roles that a friend can provide.

However, it seems to have something extra when it’s a boyfriend or girlfriend, doesn’t it? Knowing that you can feel comforted with a big hug from that special someone, or knowing how they’ll react to what you have to say, maybe give you a special comment or squeeze. It’s incredibly comforting and I think sometimes it’s what I miss the most when a good relationship ends.

So today, whether you’re single or in a relationship, find someone that you can be close with, and enjoy your time. If you’re single, get together some friends, watch mushy movies and drink wine and eat cheesecake and trash ‘em… hrrrm, sounds like a good plan, actually. Enjoy the company of your friends – even if you’re not sleeping with them, there is an intimacy to be found in your relationships together and it’s a great one; remember, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but your friends will always trash ‘em with you.

If you’re in a relationship, don’t stress too much about making the day special. Today is in reality, just another day, so if you don’t have super extra-special plans, who cares? Sometimes a pizza and a movie can be a hundred times more romantic, fun and special than getting all dressed up and going out to a fancy restaurant with linen tablecloths and people with better manners than I could ever hope to have.

Take the time every once in awhile to make one another feel special, be it with a small gift, a backrub, or just a “hey, I was thinking of you” phone call. It’s touches like that that make a couple’s relationship special and intimate, more than hours of monkey sex and fancy dinners ever could.
posted by Jen on 4:36 PM

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