Being naked in front of someone else is a vulnerable time. Depending on the lighting, you’re no longer able to hide those bulges, stretch marks, weird patches of hair, or other body “flaws” that you dislike.
All of a sudden, you’re on display for someone else and now they’re going to judge you, whether they admit to it or not. Let’s all face it; I’m sure there’s been at least one time in your life that you saw someone you’d been lusting after naked and thought, “Oh… my. Hrm.”
These are the things movies and romance novels don’t tell us, people.
I think many of us have done the stomach suck-in or had the dislike for certain positions because of how they would be unflattering to our bodies. Maybe you didn’t want her to see that you have moles on your back or you didn’t want him to know that you had hairy toes, but let’s face it; when you’re naked, it’s hard to hide these things.
Sometimes I think it’s easier to play the fully-clothed flirtation game. It’s great to have someone flirting with me and attracted to me based on how I looked when I’m completely dressed (whether those clothes are “revealing” or not), but the idea that they might look at me naked and go, “Oh, damn. I left the iron on and I have to wash my hair and my family’s coming to town so I’ll be busy for the next few… weeks, yeah, weeks!” is pretty scary.
But when you’re blind-sided by lust for someone, you’re not categorizing their faults as carefully. It’s perhaps when you’re not in the mood and they’re dancing in front of you, wiggling the bait-and-tackle or jiggling the mammaries that you might be more inclined to mental ridicule. Or maybe that’s just me. But trust me, if you’d seen some of the guys I’ve known… well, let’s just leave it there and carry on.
Of course, since none of us are perfect, we usually don’t expect our partners to be. Speaking as someone who’s never been fully satisfied with her body, when I see or get involved with someone who has a really fantastic figure, it tends to make me somewhat more self-conscious about my own, pockets of flab and all.
But at the same time, I’ve had first encounters when all I thought was, “Wow!” Later conversations may have revealed that that partner had issues with some aspect of his body, but at the time I wasn’t thinking of that. So why am I so paranoid that the first thing a guy thinks when he sees my body naked is, “Geez, can’t she get rid of that flab?”
I think in the end, it’s all about attitude. If you show that you love your body and all its imperfections, then chances are higher that others are going to feel the same way. Of course, you’ll never be able to please everyone; some people are just always going to wish you were better hung or more chesty, but that’s personal preference and nothing against you, personally. We all have what makes us hot, but many of us aren't that cut-and-dried; it's rarely a case of, "If you don't measure this much or have hair this colour, I'm not gonna do ya."
For the most part, if you want to draw people to you, love what you've got and the rest'll come from there. On the other hand, if you're with someone and you don't immediately love what they've got, wait a bit; sometimes they'll grow on you. If not, then hey: the sea is full of fish. You guys take the fish, and in the meantime, I'll take the guys.
posted by Jen on 11:51 AM