You say your… hormones… made you do it?
Some people might say that once you’ve had say, someone’s tongue in your mouth, than you know them fairly well. I say I just made these people up for the sake of an interesting opening sentence.
Other people might say that once you’ve had someone’s dick in your mouth or other orifice of your choice, that you then
know them fairly well. Once again, I say that I just invented these people for the sake of an interesting second paragraph, or continuation of the first theme.
What a lot of people will say, and these people are usually of the teacher/educator/nurse/doctor/parent variety, is that before you wind up gettin’ all nakers with someone, you should
know them. I say, life doesn’t always work out that way.
As a species, we’re all imbued with these vast amounts of hormones that make us do stupid things, like get or give head on the roof of a mall in the middle of the day. Or have sex on the couch in the basement when parents are roaming upstairs. Or fuck like monkeys minutes before friends are due to arrive. Or have sex in a park swing… but I digress. Lucky for me that I have friends who get overcome by their hormones and don’t mind me talking about it, eh?
Hormones make us do strange and … well, strange things. They make us pick up strangers in bars and cry at movies. They make us crave chocolate and have sex at movies. Some people listen to their hormones more than others; for some people, announcing “I’m horny” translates to “I could really go for an orgasm right now.” For others, announcing “I’m horny” translates to “I’m going to go get fucked right now, come hell or high water.”
Many people feel that the best sex is to be had within the confines of a loving, supportive relationship with someone who cares for you and your pleasure and wants to ensure that you feel adored and treasured afterwards. Many other people feel that the best sex gives you no concept of how your clothes got from your body and on the ceiling fan like that and leaves you feeling wrung out, sweaty and quite grateful to that guy or girl you met in the bar, you think his or her name might be Chris or Steve or Jill… but you’re sure it had an ‘r’ in it, somewhere.
Every person is different.
Some people need to know that they are loved. Others need to know that they are needed. Some are content with being wanted, at least for now. These aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive needs; they can coexist, but for some people, they needn’t.
I’ve always felt that, while I adore sex had within the confines of a loving, supportive relationship with someone who loves me and is interested in ensuring that I am fucked well and thoroughly, knowing that I am cared for… sometimes it’s necessary to take the sweaty ceiling fan sex with someone that happens to like me for who I am and what I can do with my mad skillz.
Okay, not quite true. I’ve had sex with people that didn’t care for me as me, and it left me feeling somewhat disappointed. I feel that when I get to know someone, I can have a better time with them in the bedroom; I can trust them and tell them what I want or need, whereas with someone I don’t know that well, it doesn’t work so well.
So, how can people have sex with someone they don’t know too well, but apparently know well enough to get nakers with? It ties back to hormones. Hormones make us do stupid, sweaty, naked things... although alcohol certainly helps.
Some people like to do things just to say they’ve done them (see swing example above). I know of people who’ve had one night stands partly to be able to say they’ve had them. Other people honestly just feel horny, find someone suitable, and have sex, and leave feeling satisfied; they got what they wanted out of the whole event, and what more could someone want or need?
Sometimes you get caught up in a moment and although at the beginning of the evening you wouldn’t have thought you’d be having sex, here you are and you’re hot and turned on and so is the person you’re with, so why not go for it? Or, regrettably, sometimes you may feel you owe someone for getting them hot and bothered, and while you’re not against the idea of having sex right now, you wouldn’t have chosen to do so but you can’t figure out quite the best way to back out of it… it’s unfortunate, but it does happen.
I had a point when I started this article, and then it just got away from me.
Overall… not just men are ruled by their hormones. I’ve heard it time and time again: “my penis made me do it”; “I was horny, it was stupid”; “The blood wasn’t flowing in that head at the time” and so on and so forth. Well, I’m going to spoil a secret and share: women’s parts make their desires insistently known, too. If you don’t believe me, I’ll start posting pictures and relationship details of one or two of my ex-boyfriends on here, and you can judge for yourselves.
posted by Jen on 4:27 AM